SS 2023
UPDATE
22 August
(seasonal)
Clean start after organizing as much as possible.
What’s next?
First that comes to mind is working away the leftovers. I know this sounds like a distraction from what I should be doing now that I’ve organized everything, BUT.... there are some ideas that I think are worth trying.
Coming back to making visual work, I am taking a lot of music with me. The music I’ve made over the last year, learning to play and compose. I don’t plan to stop, I just need to balance the two and venn diagram the shit out of it.
So leftovers are taking up a lot of space. Space I need to be empty for the way I see myself working. Which is: planned out, working in series, separation of experimentation and works. More language. More style, as in working in style. Defining my aesthetics.
About 20 crates full of wooden pieces. A wall full of leftover peices of plywood and polyester slabs.
It is not in my nature to throw things away, making me more like my dad than I thought. He recently said that I used to laugh at him for keepoing all thise pieces of wood, Pieces I still have in my studio today.
I see my studio being very serene and comfortable. A very light space, but controllable. I need to make those fold up curtains. Comfortable seating and generally a clutterless calm space with focus on only the current work. If I am working on several things there needs to be separation which is why it was a good idea to halve the rolling walls, making them into storage volumes and working surfaces.
In this serenity I will write and piece together the space that I need to show, the embodiment of my fascination with being alive. The posiibilities. Organize, map it out. Deliberate and determined. Say what you want to do and then do it. Don’t forget to say it first. To yourself preferably.
I have plenty of ideas. They need to be threaded together into a unique space. My aesthetics.
Moving forward has to include looking backwards. Piecing experiments and works together like clues for a mysterious question.
The leftovers contain clues, embody visions unexecuted. With new perspective I can deliberate. Deliberation.
The thing about the woodpieces. They invite me to experiment and play but they break my brain while doing it. Everything becomes about deciding between pattern, symmetry or randomness and intuitive micro moments. I have only a few pieces that I consider good. Good idea to collect them here.
----Do it (later)
Definitely the depth part in Mesa
They are like a lifeform untapped, unevolved but ready to go.
More importantly, There is now a need to create narrative. I hate the word but there needs to be a sort of timeline. Some suspense and mystery.
This is also where music comes in. Ideally I will formulate scenes and then compose them audio visually.
UPDATE
22 August
(seasonal)
Clean start after organizing as much as possible.
What’s next?
First that comes to mind is working away the leftovers. I know this sounds like a distraction from what I should be doing now that I’ve organized everything, BUT.... there are some ideas that I think are worth trying.
Coming back to making visual work, I am taking a lot of music with me. The music I’ve made over the last year, learning to play and compose. I don’t plan to stop, I just need to balance the two and venn diagram the shit out of it.
So leftovers are taking up a lot of space. Space I need to be empty for the way I see myself working. Which is: planned out, working in series, separation of experimentation and works. More language. More style, as in working in style. Defining my aesthetics.
About 20 crates full of wooden pieces. A wall full of leftover peices of plywood and polyester slabs.
It is not in my nature to throw things away, making me more like my dad than I thought. He recently said that I used to laugh at him for keepoing all thise pieces of wood, Pieces I still have in my studio today.
I see my studio being very serene and comfortable. A very light space, but controllable. I need to make those fold up curtains. Comfortable seating and generally a clutterless calm space with focus on only the current work. If I am working on several things there needs to be separation which is why it was a good idea to halve the rolling walls, making them into storage volumes and working surfaces.
In this serenity I will write and piece together the space that I need to show, the embodiment of my fascination with being alive. The posiibilities. Organize, map it out. Deliberate and determined. Say what you want to do and then do it. Don’t forget to say it first. To yourself preferably.
I have plenty of ideas. They need to be threaded together into a unique space. My aesthetics.
Moving forward has to include looking backwards. Piecing experiments and works together like clues for a mysterious question.
The leftovers contain clues, embody visions unexecuted. With new perspective I can deliberate. Deliberation.
The thing about the woodpieces. They invite me to experiment and play but they break my brain while doing it. Everything becomes about deciding between pattern, symmetry or randomness and intuitive micro moments. I have only a few pieces that I consider good. Good idea to collect them here.
----Do it (later)
Definitely the depth part in Mesa
They are like a lifeform untapped, unevolved but ready to go.
More importantly, There is now a need to create narrative. I hate the word but there needs to be a sort of timeline. Some suspense and mystery.
This is also where music comes in. Ideally I will formulate scenes and then compose them audio visually.
I am verging towards televisions and cameras but I see myself making actual scenes and paintings, maybe mattes for video. The act of painting can become a role personified. Part fiction. A persona. Paintings set somewhere, a bit like the art in beetlejuice. Branching now.
So back to the pieces.
3 ideas.
1. large grids, sprayed in close but resonating, contrasting colors fading. Blocks continue on sides avoiding a frame, which feels oldfashioned or detrimental to the piece even. It will be a frameless object from now on. Frames are for paintings. The large grids, like expanded chessboards or low res LED screens, units in space, of measurement, maps.
8x8 chessboard size
16 x 16
16 x 24
24 x 24
24 x 32
I hate to ask, but.. what am I exploring here? I am exploring, exploiting, my leftovers. Fuck off. But I like the map idea. The diagonal lines on old maps. The legend, and units on the sides. They dont have to be maps of anything specific, but allude to certain things. See the lauri Painting.
I also like the spray factor. I havent done it before. Spraying cars is fascinating too. This facination with maps. but also with colors. The finish is important as it is a large surface, very flat. Maybe the japanese silver and white idea. Responds to time of day. A time reflector.
Exciting to make a spray room out of the scaffolding in my studio. I will have to make it very controlled. Think about how to store the painted pieces and finish the works. Very direct. Spray and make. Spray and make. No storage. Funny I should say storage. Because the grid is a form of storgage, bits and such,. Units. Matrix. So maybe a storage, several shelves, like harddrives. motherboards.
2. Computer chip depictions: Many colors, high complexity mixed with large surface simplicity. Lots of work and maybe the connection to the video work is too literal. It is a good idea as in building a compuer chip. Intuitively, but are the woodpieces the right way? It is contrived. Maybe painting or LED. I like the LED pattern carpet idea. Like a wall tapestry. So probably drop the computerchio woodpiece idea unless the iothers start sellinge very well. bla bla.
Really the chips should remain chips and anything I do that comes close should be an abstraction of those ideas.*
3. Musical scores. Timeline of 16ths or 32nds, different layers or tracks superimposed. 2 and 3 dimensional structures of blocks and waveform abstractions. there could be series with woodpieces but also leftover wood cut to size. repetition is the key here, and transmutation on teh timeline.
This idea is the most promising.
4. Dashboards and tronics
5. Scoreboards
* Same for these and the sony paintings etc, The should be abstractions of those ideas. New objects. Don’t become a pony. Pony art.
So back to the pieces.
3 ideas.
1. large grids, sprayed in close but resonating, contrasting colors fading. Blocks continue on sides avoiding a frame, which feels oldfashioned or detrimental to the piece even. It will be a frameless object from now on. Frames are for paintings. The large grids, like expanded chessboards or low res LED screens, units in space, of measurement, maps.
8x8 chessboard size
16 x 16
16 x 24
24 x 24
24 x 32
I hate to ask, but.. what am I exploring here? I am exploring, exploiting, my leftovers. Fuck off. But I like the map idea. The diagonal lines on old maps. The legend, and units on the sides. They dont have to be maps of anything specific, but allude to certain things. See the lauri Painting.
I also like the spray factor. I havent done it before. Spraying cars is fascinating too. This facination with maps. but also with colors. The finish is important as it is a large surface, very flat. Maybe the japanese silver and white idea. Responds to time of day. A time reflector.
Exciting to make a spray room out of the scaffolding in my studio. I will have to make it very controlled. Think about how to store the painted pieces and finish the works. Very direct. Spray and make. Spray and make. No storage. Funny I should say storage. Because the grid is a form of storgage, bits and such,. Units. Matrix. So maybe a storage, several shelves, like harddrives. motherboards.
2. Computer chip depictions: Many colors, high complexity mixed with large surface simplicity. Lots of work and maybe the connection to the video work is too literal. It is a good idea as in building a compuer chip. Intuitively, but are the woodpieces the right way? It is contrived. Maybe painting or LED. I like the LED pattern carpet idea. Like a wall tapestry. So probably drop the computerchio woodpiece idea unless the iothers start sellinge very well. bla bla.
Really the chips should remain chips and anything I do that comes close should be an abstraction of those ideas.*
3. Musical scores. Timeline of 16ths or 32nds, different layers or tracks superimposed. 2 and 3 dimensional structures of blocks and waveform abstractions. there could be series with woodpieces but also leftover wood cut to size. repetition is the key here, and transmutation on teh timeline.
This idea is the most promising.
4. Dashboards and tronics
5. Scoreboards
* Same for these and the sony paintings etc, The should be abstractions of those ideas. New objects. Don’t become a pony. Pony art.
All the while, the LED and video work should continue. So we have a spray room and storage shelve. But we also have the LED screens hung on walls. Big Screens and easy accesibility with videomixers and cameras. The pixels in the paintings and in the video can relate, the painting process filmed, depicted. Archived.
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25 August
More cleaning up. Started with all the leftover wood today. The urge is strong to use it. Make fast but deliberate and consistent works. Inspired by rhythm composition, midi.
Combine calmness with detail as above. Volume and dessin etc.
Keep the wood color where possible, paint mdf. Multiplex, paint sides
Glue together. screw from back.
Never frame, always object.
Crude, not pretending to be well finished. But well finished. Lots of sawing. Not so cool.
No sawing option. Just MDF. spray with primer. monoschrome works. Maybe shaded with falling paint droplets from different angles.
Why all this archi sit I ask myself. Is it because the leftovers, or do I just want to make and not think and represent.
I have this idea of painting from photos and videos where certain parts are left out or abstrahized, collaged. It also feels like an effect. Not an idea.
Still all over the place.
So throw away all the woodpieces and leftovers? No I will so definietly regret. Just store them? Better idea maybe.
The beat music score idea is still strong. The faded chessboard grids not so much. Vasarely street art baldiebla. But maybe that IS good. Sell for affordable price. Sell with the pieces. Mismatched teams. I like that. Not black and white. Multicolored. This brings me back to the portraits, people with different colors for skin. Not sure why I liked that idea.
If I think about it post cleanup. Storing things I dont need instantly. Clean space. How do I start? Continue this journaling till then will help.
I have collected all these cameras and video tools. A large amount of acrylic Paint and all this wood. A large space. All organized. Realize the situation. All the ideas i have been writing down here. Do I go down the list one by one? Or do I throw everything into a giant video experiment? A set for theatre and music. Collaborations. Isnt that what the space calls out for? It is amlost like a stage already. Many things possible with the windows. Projection for instance. The scaffold might come in handy after all.
Or the one by one approach. Pick one idea and make a series. Then pick another. Feels organized and not prone to making a mess. Combine that with working with leftovers is not a bad idea. Throwing everything away is weak. A bad idea in itself. Make a fucking table. The request of narrative and deepness coming form myself, it is forcing myself into something I am not. I don’t really work with symbolism. It has been about action. Taking part and inviting participation.
Now I expect myself to distill all that into a world vision, analysis or reflection. How grandiose. This is what I should avoid, this uber generality. Fire ice, war, peace, news etc. It is very tempting to have ledscreens with crushing ice, huge soundtrack. Surround crush melt and trickle.
Specific is either edit from general or it is personal. Personal can be archive.
Painting as a goal or just showing off I can paint. (Gais)
Painting trees is something I told myself I would do. It would be a great start with the studio. The calmness and calamity of painting. It is also not very ME to just dive into that and not get all sorts of distracted. Could not become one of those instagram painters. I should do it outside maybe, Become one of those outdoor guys.
Ideas about what I should become. I need ideas to embrace what I have always been through what I have become. I keep looking at myself from some outside position, just look from within, Look out.
Fact is, I cannot come up with a new assignment until I finished the space. Then I will sit and write and drink tea.
For this reason, a lot has to be removed. I cannot start again by regurgetating leftovers. Fact. Also. relax. It is going well. Eventhough I have been organizing for a month it is getting somewhere. It is thorough and that word is thorough.
So just continue and either store or throw away things. Build what is necessary, order the crates. Throwaway all small wood except hard wood.Or have someone pick it up. Dont even think about making something along the way.
What is the rule for throwing away shit?
Goodnight.

25 August
More cleaning up. Started with all the leftover wood today. The urge is strong to use it. Make fast but deliberate and consistent works. Inspired by rhythm composition, midi.
Combine calmness with detail as above. Volume and dessin etc.
Keep the wood color where possible, paint mdf. Multiplex, paint sides
Glue together. screw from back.
Never frame, always object.
Crude, not pretending to be well finished. But well finished. Lots of sawing. Not so cool.
No sawing option. Just MDF. spray with primer. monoschrome works. Maybe shaded with falling paint droplets from different angles.
Why all this archi sit I ask myself. Is it because the leftovers, or do I just want to make and not think and represent.
I have this idea of painting from photos and videos where certain parts are left out or abstrahized, collaged. It also feels like an effect. Not an idea.
Still all over the place.
So throw away all the woodpieces and leftovers? No I will so definietly regret. Just store them? Better idea maybe.
The beat music score idea is still strong. The faded chessboard grids not so much. Vasarely street art baldiebla. But maybe that IS good. Sell for affordable price. Sell with the pieces. Mismatched teams. I like that. Not black and white. Multicolored. This brings me back to the portraits, people with different colors for skin. Not sure why I liked that idea.
If I think about it post cleanup. Storing things I dont need instantly. Clean space. How do I start? Continue this journaling till then will help.
I have collected all these cameras and video tools. A large amount of acrylic Paint and all this wood. A large space. All organized. Realize the situation. All the ideas i have been writing down here. Do I go down the list one by one? Or do I throw everything into a giant video experiment? A set for theatre and music. Collaborations. Isnt that what the space calls out for? It is amlost like a stage already. Many things possible with the windows. Projection for instance. The scaffold might come in handy after all.
Or the one by one approach. Pick one idea and make a series. Then pick another. Feels organized and not prone to making a mess. Combine that with working with leftovers is not a bad idea. Throwing everything away is weak. A bad idea in itself. Make a fucking table. The request of narrative and deepness coming form myself, it is forcing myself into something I am not. I don’t really work with symbolism. It has been about action. Taking part and inviting participation.
Now I expect myself to distill all that into a world vision, analysis or reflection. How grandiose. This is what I should avoid, this uber generality. Fire ice, war, peace, news etc. It is very tempting to have ledscreens with crushing ice, huge soundtrack. Surround crush melt and trickle.
Specific is either edit from general or it is personal. Personal can be archive.
Painting as a goal or just showing off I can paint. (Gais)
Painting trees is something I told myself I would do. It would be a great start with the studio. The calmness and calamity of painting. It is also not very ME to just dive into that and not get all sorts of distracted. Could not become one of those instagram painters. I should do it outside maybe, Become one of those outdoor guys.
Ideas about what I should become. I need ideas to embrace what I have always been through what I have become. I keep looking at myself from some outside position, just look from within, Look out.
Fact is, I cannot come up with a new assignment until I finished the space. Then I will sit and write and drink tea.
For this reason, a lot has to be removed. I cannot start again by regurgetating leftovers. Fact. Also. relax. It is going well. Eventhough I have been organizing for a month it is getting somewhere. It is thorough and that word is thorough.
So just continue and either store or throw away things. Build what is necessary, order the crates. Throwaway all small wood except hard wood.Or have someone pick it up. Dont even think about making something along the way.
What is the rule for throwing away shit?
Goodnight.
27 August (00:27)
Threw away a lot of leftover wood today.
![]()
It felt good. I still struggled with flash ideas of making things with every piece. I don’t expect to worry about it though.
The studio seems more messy than ever now. Everything is in the middle of the room. I have only a bit more wood to sort out, then I will have done everything except the kitchen. Open studios in two weeks. I wont have anything to show. Just a clean space, hopefully.
Funny to see Kamagruka speaking about going to Paris on a schooltrip and taking off halfway to go to this magazine Harakiri. When he showed up again his teachers weren’t angry. They were impressed that he had gone there.
This made me think of the time I walked away from the group on a schooltrip to Paris with a friend and took the subway to Porte de Clingancourt to go to Marche aux Puces . They had brands like Carhartt at the time when you Couldnt get in in Holland. Must have been 92 or 93. Needless to say the teachers weren’t happy. But when I got arrested in Japan in 2003 for graffiti, a policeman looked thrpough my sketchbooks and asked me to draw him. 1 Touch. He then asked me to sign it.
I don’t draw much anymore. Why is that? Also, I spent years drawing grafitti letters and I can’t even look at those drawings now. I have that with some New Yorker drawings too. Some are really bad. Sometimes I feel like I was almost great at many things.
I loved what Kamargurka said about making heavy things light and the other way around. That this is how you can tell a good artist. A bad artist makes heavy things heavier.
Also about working fast, making many things and throwing away a lot. With my recent experience of throwing away things, this could become part of my process. Why not. Make many chuck 80%.
Less worry when making too. Making woodpiece work always gave me stress, everything was possible but final. It had to always end in a work. This was a mistake. I have the space and quantoty to just do. Make a lot and dont worry about quality. Quantity. BUT, like my piano teacher said. Always keep tempo. Which translates to take care to play (make) well, and not carelessly. Give fucks.
For this to work I will need a few standard sizes to work with. No frames so think about sides. I could make this with leftovers.
I have a pile of polyester leftovers. They clog up the studio because they are so heavy to move. I am not ready to throw them away. Selling is an option. Till then they should be contained to a rolling pile. It would be nice to insert a tube light so it works a very heavy ambient lamp. Make a nice pile. Or just bring them to storage. Pay for never using them again.
I could propose an artpiece on the square. Imagine lit up piece of street. with water, walking on it would be an issue. It would be cool in a garden. Pieces lit up everywhere. Rechargeable lamps. Easily interchanged. Just make an object per block. Light underneath. Not a bad idea to shape them into crystals. Been walking around with that idea for a while now.
Also, it works for practically every dimension of blocks as crystals are shaped in many ways. Quite a corny idea. But it does resonate in the crystal way. Stupid.
Make every block into a lamp. Same insert on every one. just a heavy lamp. Matte or glossy. Fade from matte on the bottom to glossy on top.
I should update the info about Denver. It says nothing about who I worked with.
Tomorrow. hang with Charlie.
3 September (23:52)
Lots of progress, eventhough it still feels slow. Learning as I build. Keep wanting to improve and go back over past weaknesses.
12 Sept (21:58)
Non stop making the new setup and endless organizing, spray painting, cleaning and throwing away. I am apalled at how much stuff I have accumulated. Somehow it seemed to get more while organizing. Very discouraging and sometimes I felt hopeless about ever getting to that serene place I have in mind.
gym
Luckily I was able to arrange for a storage space. Tomorrow, Barend and I will bring a van full of stfuff to storage. So finally serenity is in sight. Next weekend is the big open studio day. I will need to show and sell work though.
I have recently been sketching more. The main focus is to do something with the wood pieces after all, including leftover wood.
Focussing on electronics and rhythm or beat compositions. Again, the aim is to combine complexity with simple volumes in an elegant way.
14 Sept (21:58)
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Happy New Year
Another year of school
Every day is a lesson
Lessons every day
gymclass
and homework
Gymclass
Summer over
another year of school
class non stop
practical practice
gymnastics
mathematics
Summers over
New school year
Brain time
bitches
Threw away a lot of leftover wood today.

It felt good. I still struggled with flash ideas of making things with every piece. I don’t expect to worry about it though.
The studio seems more messy than ever now. Everything is in the middle of the room. I have only a bit more wood to sort out, then I will have done everything except the kitchen. Open studios in two weeks. I wont have anything to show. Just a clean space, hopefully.
Funny to see Kamagruka speaking about going to Paris on a schooltrip and taking off halfway to go to this magazine Harakiri. When he showed up again his teachers weren’t angry. They were impressed that he had gone there.
This made me think of the time I walked away from the group on a schooltrip to Paris with a friend and took the subway to Porte de Clingancourt to go to Marche aux Puces . They had brands like Carhartt at the time when you Couldnt get in in Holland. Must have been 92 or 93. Needless to say the teachers weren’t happy. But when I got arrested in Japan in 2003 for graffiti, a policeman looked thrpough my sketchbooks and asked me to draw him. 1 Touch. He then asked me to sign it.
I don’t draw much anymore. Why is that? Also, I spent years drawing grafitti letters and I can’t even look at those drawings now. I have that with some New Yorker drawings too. Some are really bad. Sometimes I feel like I was almost great at many things.
I loved what Kamargurka said about making heavy things light and the other way around. That this is how you can tell a good artist. A bad artist makes heavy things heavier.
Also about working fast, making many things and throwing away a lot. With my recent experience of throwing away things, this could become part of my process. Why not. Make many chuck 80%.
Less worry when making too. Making woodpiece work always gave me stress, everything was possible but final. It had to always end in a work. This was a mistake. I have the space and quantoty to just do. Make a lot and dont worry about quality. Quantity. BUT, like my piano teacher said. Always keep tempo. Which translates to take care to play (make) well, and not carelessly. Give fucks.
For this to work I will need a few standard sizes to work with. No frames so think about sides. I could make this with leftovers.
I have a pile of polyester leftovers. They clog up the studio because they are so heavy to move. I am not ready to throw them away. Selling is an option. Till then they should be contained to a rolling pile. It would be nice to insert a tube light so it works a very heavy ambient lamp. Make a nice pile. Or just bring them to storage. Pay for never using them again.
I could propose an artpiece on the square. Imagine lit up piece of street. with water, walking on it would be an issue. It would be cool in a garden. Pieces lit up everywhere. Rechargeable lamps. Easily interchanged. Just make an object per block. Light underneath. Not a bad idea to shape them into crystals. Been walking around with that idea for a while now.
Also, it works for practically every dimension of blocks as crystals are shaped in many ways. Quite a corny idea. But it does resonate in the crystal way. Stupid.
Make every block into a lamp. Same insert on every one. just a heavy lamp. Matte or glossy. Fade from matte on the bottom to glossy on top.
I should update the info about Denver. It says nothing about who I worked with.
Tomorrow. hang with Charlie.
3 September (23:52)




Lots of progress, eventhough it still feels slow. Learning as I build. Keep wanting to improve and go back over past weaknesses.
12 Sept (21:58)
Non stop making the new setup and endless organizing, spray painting, cleaning and throwing away. I am apalled at how much stuff I have accumulated. Somehow it seemed to get more while organizing. Very discouraging and sometimes I felt hopeless about ever getting to that serene place I have in mind.







Luckily I was able to arrange for a storage space. Tomorrow, Barend and I will bring a van full of stfuff to storage. So finally serenity is in sight. Next weekend is the big open studio day. I will need to show and sell work though.
I have recently been sketching more. The main focus is to do something with the wood pieces after all, including leftover wood.
Focussing on electronics and rhythm or beat compositions. Again, the aim is to combine complexity with simple volumes in an elegant way.
14 Sept (21:58)


Happy New Year
Another year of school
Every day is a lesson
Lessons every day
gymclass
and homework
Gymclass
Summer over
another year of school
class non stop
practical practice
gymnastics
mathematics
Summers over
New school year
Brain time
bitches
MAKING
Schedule:
MONDAY
TUESDAY
WEDNESDAY
THURSDAY
FRIDAY
SAT
SUN
project weeks and general production weeks
studio/home improvement
Music: piano/cello lessons 1/2weeks practice 1 hour/day
DAW time
sports: swimming/running +1 team, boxing/basketball/core
reading: 1 hour/day
writing: 30min/day
admin: calculate living costs etc. income requirements
archiving:
counceling 1/2months
interviews dad 1/week
social:drinking 2 a week
STUDIO:
Organize and improve
- Kitchenette on wheels
- Silkscreen cleaning sink (outside in garden?)
- CURTAINS sow together all sorts of white fabric in grid like windows
- Build roof terrace? grid structure
SERIES:
CANVAS AND PAPER SIZES
Determine practical materials and sizes for:
- drawing charcoal and crayon
- watercolor/guache
- canvas
Get printer up and running - overhead projector -
silkscreen material - crucial for reproduction work
WALL PIECES
- reflection paintings - change colors and add elements 6 - 8 large paintings - oil and acrylic - blurred and exact
- trees drawings and paintings sketches and largescale on paper and canvas - some seen through grid windows - (trees doubling for neurons)
- collaged paintings combining images projected directly or from scanned collages - canvasses sown together - combine with grids painted to create large scale arcering like money - paint several reproductions edits
AURA headgear: 3 dimensional hat/helmet/mask sculptures. Lightweight.
- CHIPS
Series following from observations of abstract computer architecture, culture and archaeology. A visual anthology of abstract computer shapes and compositions. Typologies of inner workings.
(the study of human activity through the recovery and analysis of material culture)
- HUMAN BODY AND MIND
Studies of the human figure, the human as biological construction. The equalizer. Include the mind.
(GRID CURTAINS)
Clothing - sew and print grids onto existing pieces
3D FAVELA PIECE
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Room divider
WOOD PIECES
Several lagere pieces, design the workflow, not the piece. All the same size. Built from smaller pieces elements?
random vs organisation
Starting point or theme:
music time process
carpet, computer chip, infographic, data, patterns, mirroring, symmetry
start with grid, checker or pattern, the destroy, maybe come back to other patterns along the way, new life forms
Mind map of process
think of scale, how does composition feel animated, in action. Go from one scale to others. Cadence. Cannot be al complex, too much for the eye, needs stability and order too. Calmness and breath.
---> connect to led screen art
How can it assist and complement the other work? Connection between sound an color, composition. Timeline re-imagined
How to approach color:
Look for images and combinations with the right feel. Hardness and softness. Mostly sofness needed.
How about naming? What names make up a good series? Just numbers?
Decisions: Rule them out, roll of the dice. Rules and regulations. WORK IN COLLABORATION. How to keep simplicity.
OR JUST THROW ALL THE PIECES AWAY? DONATE THEM. CARINE HOYKAAS?
.
Series following from observations of abstract computer architecture, culture and archaeology. A visual anthology of abstract computer shapes and compositions. Typologies of inner workings.
(the study of human activity through the recovery and analysis of material culture)
- sketches on paper, square. watercolor 60x60cm
- 1 paragraph articles
- woodpiece compositions
- HUMAN BODY AND MIND
Studies of the human figure, the human as biological construction. The equalizer. Include the mind.
- sketches A3 whole skeletons and portraits
- paintings 1:1 humans 200x150cm approx.
- sculptures wood and leftovers
- a human experience
- mind auras
(GRID CURTAINS)
Clothing - sew and print grids onto existing pieces
3D FAVELA PIECE

Room divider
WOOD PIECES
Several lagere pieces, design the workflow, not the piece. All the same size. Built from smaller pieces elements?
random vs organisation
Starting point or theme:
music time process
carpet, computer chip, infographic, data, patterns, mirroring, symmetry
start with grid, checker or pattern, the destroy, maybe come back to other patterns along the way, new life forms
Mind map of process
think of scale, how does composition feel animated, in action. Go from one scale to others. Cadence. Cannot be al complex, too much for the eye, needs stability and order too. Calmness and breath.
---> connect to led screen art
How can it assist and complement the other work? Connection between sound an color, composition. Timeline re-imagined
How to approach color:
Look for images and combinations with the right feel. Hardness and softness. Mostly sofness needed.
How about naming? What names make up a good series? Just numbers?
Decisions: Rule them out, roll of the dice. Rules and regulations. WORK IN COLLABORATION. How to keep simplicity.
OR JUST THROW ALL THE PIECES AWAY? DONATE THEM. CARINE HOYKAAS?
.
- MACHINES
Series with the idea machines.
What do these machines do? Its is what contains the chip. The body vs the mind of the operation. Supercomputers.
These machines are sculptures, they do not actually operate anything. They make noise and light.
- LIGHT INSTALLATIONS
- STUPIDTELLIGENT SPACE
AUDIO/VIDEO INSTALLATIONS
cameras and screens - seeing and being seen - superimpose
projections
overlays
audio - midi control sound
user controlled (without touch)
Cameras are eyes - arrow coming out. - maybe laser and smoke
moving camera heads and tripods
different scales - rooms and objects
Series with the idea machines.
What do these machines do? Its is what contains the chip. The body vs the mind of the operation. Supercomputers.
These machines are sculptures, they do not actually operate anything. They make noise and light.
- Sketches 2D/3D
- LIGHT INSTALLATIONS
- DATA CENTER
- STUPIDTELLIGENT SPACE
- DATA CENTER
AUDIO/VIDEO INSTALLATIONS
cameras and screens - seeing and being seen - superimpose
projections
overlays
audio - midi control sound
user controlled (without touch)
Cameras are eyes - arrow coming out. - maybe laser and smoke
moving camera heads and tripods
different scales - rooms and objects
SCREENS / FORMATS
SONY PVM 4 letter words
- write program for it enter script
- attach speakers - soundscape
- play with system cameras for backdrop of words
- random association confrontation
Widescreen LED black surface.
- Slow moving white lines and grids depth through fade
- glow blobby fade
- black grid covering poly surface
Blue/Water screen
- blue blobby
LIGHT SCULPTURES
- finish triplet
- add more ideas
- finish water screen
- update chip animation
Chair/throne
- pick screen config - grid of slightly separated modules, grid frame chair
- cover with mirror glass
- LCT setup
- real time blender
Room for throne
- find XL led
- also mirror surface
- terminator style
- ufo movie flight of the navigator

RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY
THE STORY
Sun 9 April,
This story starts with a desire for wonder.
I want to work on specific ideas, well founded and planned. Examine my world and my work. Organize it. So I can step back and have a birdseye view. Create from there.
BE THE HUNTER GATHERER OF MY RAM. From a far I can treat my ideas as atoms and molecules. Make molecular synthesis happen.
Zooming out is important, meanwhile you make the map.
This is the map.
The story comes first but is really reconstructed from past musings. It lays the stones for further advancement and therefore necessary. HOW IM LEARNING TO LIVE IN BETWEEN THINGS.
WONDER THAT I EXPERIENCED WHEN I WAS YOUNGER. RECOGNIZE IT AND EMBRACE IT. GIVE IT FORM WHICH IS WHAT MAKES IT REAL.
RESONANCE. FAITH.
INTRO
I hope to get more clarity on what I have done so far and to formulate some important questions. The answers might be less important. Equally I feel the need to face my own multidisciplinarity. My distractions and focus. To accept it, understand it and work from itTHOUGHT THAT I COULD GET AWAY WITH JUST MAKING. NO REFLECTING. NO MUSING.

INTENT
Work fromm the assumption of interconnectedness through morphic fields. That the force behind life is the force behind human creativity. The freedom of the artist is what propells this process and its dynamics.
Back this up. Writings about creativity and its combinatory abilities. The fact that something cannot be described in words, or concepts. That complexity, of every individual eye and its perception. How art deals in this force. That is its business and appeal. Its core, its language. The space between a work and the viewer. The wonder.
I strive to make my understanding of this force visible. An attempt to illustrate creative enlightenment while I allow/force it to happen. By forcing randomness or chance to take place in a controlled place. archive. Einstein: The Intuitive Mind Is a Sacred Gift and the Rational Minda faithful servant.
In this process I will attempt to study and embrace my past. Look at it, take it apart and put it back together again. Archeology of:
Recontructing puzzling of clues
WHAT FUELED MY IMAGINATION?
Making connections retrospectively where I could not see them at the time. Attributing active thought to areas so far intuitive. Active thought being reading, writing and making.
Through this process I will give my self making assignments and questions. Ways to illustrate my thinking or flux at the time. The assignments well described and intentional, the making free and interpretational. STIMULATING OVERALL CURIOSITY.
A view of the world I live in and have experienced so far. The questions I ask myself as a human and as an artist. What it means to see that as my function in society. I have to reshape that idea for myself. Find a sense of purpose so that art is my profession.
MAKING
THIS - TO WORK WITH IMAGERY OF THIS PROCESS, DESCRIBING, USING, FOLDING AND BENDING THE CREATIVE PROCESS ITSELF.
Combining media and disciplines to enhance and catalize this flux process and explore possibilities in practice. Applying a matrix to crossbreed ideas.
A multidisciplinary Theo Jansen evolutionary approach in warped space time. Combinatorial creativity and the cross-pollination of disciplines
Machines for dynamic, creativity. Morphogenesis. Accepting that words inadequately describe the processes before and after except for describing the process. Never attempting to explain by which you would defeat it’s purpose. If it doesnt speak in words, dont make it.
Applying my thinking to the whole spectrum of dimension. Zooming in and out simultaneously, observing the physical and the metaphysical.
“from quantum forces through inorganic forces and biological patterns and social patterns to the intellectual patterns that perceive the quantum forces.”
NO FUX
As an artist, this belief lies paralel to our process of creation. To not understand and admit that something can come out of nothing or without explanation. To then offer possible explanations or theories is artistic expression. To be an artist is to believe religiously in this abstract unknown layer of possibility intertwined with everything around us. This is our consolation, our hope and solace.
To believe is to enjoy.
INDETERMINATE ABSOLUTE
Taking a step back from producing, but archiving, makes the space available for new combinations and concoctions that might arise from studying my own sources of inspiration and thoughts that have so far been mostly subcoscious, intuitive and unorganised. This is an attempt to bring the whole to a maliable, visual and adaptable tool level of idea representation. Bad sentence.
Open up the path between inspiration and production in a way that feels more organized and planned strategically while leaving opportunity for combinatory play/creativity.
ACTIVE THINKING
(talking to yourself)It is important to treat this process as work. Take it seriously like I have not done before.
What lies central to all this is the marriage between randomness and structure. Both are necessary and the combination of the two in unespected ways is the goal.
To quote John Cage:
“When I am not working I sometimes think I know something, but when I am working, it is quite clear that I know nothing.“
When carrying a tray of glasses, best not to look at the tray but to trust your automatic muscle control.
CONTROL AND CHANCE
Q’s
ASK MY DAD FOR QUESTIONS
Keep improving the questionsHow to be an artist?
How to trust your intuition?
What is your job/responsibilty?
What are you looking at?
CAGE: Instead of representing my control, they represent questions I’ve asked and the answers that have been given by means of chance operations. I’ve merely changed my responsibility from making choices to asking questions. It’s not easy to ask questions.
Larson adds:
Chance operations offered Cage a chance to change his own mind without intellectualizing but, rather, by immersing himself in experiences without judgment and letting them teach him. Indeed, chance and change went hand-in-hand for him:
The everything approach.
“The idea that in order for us to truly create and contribute to the world, we have to be able to connect countless dots, to cross-pollinate ideas from a wealth of disciplines, to combine and recombine these pieces and build new castles.
Include anything on any scale as subject or inspiration. Connect them with intuition.”
WHAT IS RENNAISCANCE?
Universal man.
ART & FEAR
In the ideal — that is to say, real — artist, fears not only continue to exist, they exist side by side with the desires that complement them, perhaps drive them, certainly feed them. Naive passion, which promotes work done in ignorance of obstacles, becomes — with courage — informed passion, which promotes work done in full acceptance of those obstacles.

WONDER
Descartes: “wonderment is the first passion of all,”
“There is, in sanest hours, a consciousness, a thought that rises, independent, lifted out from all else, calm, like the stars, shining eternal,” Walt Whitman
Einstein: The Intuitive Mind Is a Sacred Gift and the Rational Minda faithful servant.
CAGE:
The world, the real is not an object. It is a process.
(AE) The words or the language, as they are written or spoken, do not seem to play any role in my mechanism of thought. The psychical entities which seem to serve as elements in thought are certain signs and more or less clear images which can be “voluntarily” reproduced and combined.

MEMES:
In 1976, Richard Dawkins, in his iconic book The Selfish Gene, which by the way I highly recommend, coined the word “meme” for a similar concept:Examples of memes are tunes, ideas, catch-phrases, clothes fashions, ways of making pots or of building arches. Just as genes propagate themselves in the gene pool by leaping from body to body via sperms or eggs, so memes propagate themselves in the meme pool by leaping from brain to brain via a process which, in the broad sense, can be called imitation.
WOODPIECE SYSTEEM MEME
CREATIVITY:
“Creativity is like chasing chickens,” Christoph NiemannAlbert Einstein, who termed it “combinatory play.”
COLLAGE
FALL INTO PLACE
PHOTOS OF PROCESS PAINTINGS ETC.
CHANCE:
That is how innovation happens. Chance favors the connected mind.” ~ Steven JohnsonPURPOSE:
Apply this to trying everything and always reinventing the wheel.
Thinkers:
WINNERS DONT THINK
Met dank aan Niek Mager.THE 4 LEVELS OF PATTERN:
inorganic (for example, chemicals, forces), organic (plants, animals), social (cities, ant nests), or intellectual (thoughts, ideas).THE FILMSCRIPT ABOUT THE YOUTH TAPPING IN. MEMORY IN THE STREETS
MORPHOGENESIS:
morphogenesis can be defined as the 'coming-into-being' of characteristic and specific formIn 1964, neuropsychologist Roger Sperry drew an analogy between neurons and ideas:
Ideas cause ideas and help evolve new ideas. They interact with each other and with other mental forces in the same brain, in neighboring brains, and thanks to global communication, in far distant, foreign brains.
PURPOSE
MEMORY


CHAOS AND CONFUSION
PAST
Borges: “we are our memory… that chimerical museum of shifting shapes, that pile of broken mirrors.”
So let’s also look back and connect some dots like Steve Jobs says.
The problem is the quantity here.
Organization and archiving. Photos is mostly done already. Videos Might be worth the trouble.
The images are moments on the timeline and locations on the globe.
Zoom out and see it on a planetary level. Zoom in and see it from my eyes.I am not an exceptional photographer or videographer.
A set of eyes moving through time and space. Another set of eyes, sheeesh. 16 billion eyes. What if you coumt the animals. How many eyes? You don’t see me.
How many brains? Getting carried away here. Looking back. Its the past were talking about. History. What about history independent of me?
History of form language. Reading goalssss.
Fill up the glass like a liquid. That could also be an approach. Hunt and gather bits and pieces that will fall into place with other bits.
So the pieces have to be placed in the idea matrix somehow.
The idea to disregard years of capturing is strange, to leave it up to Lua to deal with it. I’d rather not bruden her with that. If all we are is our past, maybe we should all take care of it.
Reduction..
I could start with a random approach.
1 MEMORY
video or photo becomes a work.
2 network of memories. Web.
3 combinations of memory.
4 transformation of memory
PHOTO ARCHIVE
So How to organize my curiosity about my past and memories. Since when do I feel this strong need to reflect? Is it because I see no future. Maybe you never do and the past is all we have.
MY FATHERS BRAIN
I interviewed dad about his past a few years ago. 7 hours.
He recently mentioned film archives from Hong Kong that are on youtube. Ask him.
Do the questions thing by talking with him while we work. Maybe even micing him up. because there will be a lot of surround noise. This should really be done together with Barend. The questions thing being: Phrasing and rephrasing good questions.
VIDEO ARCHIVE
50+ hours of unedited video
Option to save everything to harddrives. Costs money and lots of time. Otherwise risk damage to the tapes.
I could predict possible outcomes of works but better to describe experiments or excersizes first. The organising or image generating factor is an action.
Examples:
- Find footage with similar compositions and create sequences, overlaps or combinations
- connect sources to a videomixer and make combinations realtime.
- Question: feelings about videowork and how annoying most of it is. Why? The time factor is oppressive, everyone is on their own time. Slow motion works but it has to be very slow. Look into AI slow motion frame generators.
But then do I go deep into this video past... just because I can? Or can I define a reason or objective?
The answer to another question might lie within this video idea.
VISUAL CARESS
Slow and soothing.
KEEP VIDEO VIDEO
(FUCK VIDEO ART)
sit down and watch
TELEVISIONS
Hanging from the ceiling?
S. Jobs.
Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.
BODY OF AFFECTION
R. Krulwich
In every career, your job is to make and tell stories, of course. You will build a body of work, but you will also build a body of affection, with the people you’ve helped who’ve helped you back. This is the era of Friends in Low Places. The ones you meet now, who will notice you, challenge you, work with you, and watch your back. Maybe they will be your strength.
Jim Coudal, one of my big creative and curatorial heroes, once said:
Our number one value isn’t in any of the skills we have. It’s that we’re essentially curious.
But curiosity without direction can be a taxing and ultimately unproductive endeavor. Choice is how we tame and channel and direct our curiosity.
Above reminds me of favela painting.
My Childhood dream and why I cannot live it?

The kind of painter I wanted to be.
Autobiographical. Maybe this is interesting. I should think less about the results in an exhibition or installation seting and more of where my curiosity takes me.
information discovery
Information discovery plays a central role in how we fuel our creativity and thus in our creative output. Information discovery is a form of creative labor in and of itself.
So if information discovery plays such a central role in how we fuel our creativity and thus in our creative output, then information discovery is a form of creative labor in and of itself. And yet our current code of ethics for respecting and crediting this kind of labor is completely inadequate. We have clearly defined systems for what’s right or wrong in terms of crediting creative products across text, image, video, and different media, from image rights to literary citations. But we don’t have the same ethical principles for sources of discovery. And yet, in a culture of exponentially increasing overload, it’s through these nodes in the information ecosystem, these human sensemakers, human synapses if you will, that this very text or image or video finds its way into our mental pool of resources.
The RASHOMON effect.
different versions of the same story.
Marshall McLuhan said we navigate our way into the future like someone driving who uses only the rear-view mirror to tell them where they’re going.
O. Sacks:
We have, each of us, a life-story, an inner narrative — whose continuity, whose sense, is our lives. It might be said that each of us constructs and lives, a “narrative,” and that this narrative is us, our identities.
If we wish to know about a man, we ask “what is his story — his real, inmost story?” — for each of us is a biography, a story. Each of us is a singular narrative, which is constructed, continually, unconsciously, by, through, and in us — through our perceptions, our feelings, our thoughts, our actions; and, not least, our discourse, our spoken narrations. Biologically, physiologically, we are not so different from each other; historically, as narratives — we are each of us unique.
Emily Dickinson: “I’m Nobody! Who are you?”
“I’m Everybody!”
FUTURE
HOW DOES OUR BRAIN WORK WITH THE CONCEPT?Our present moment is the horizon. Everything is always behind is.
What would yo do if money played no role?
Paul Graham:
Prestige is the enemy of passion.
Prestige is the opinion of the rest of the world.
Prestige is just fossilized inspiration
“Find something more important than you are,” Dan Dennett
Seneca counsels his young friend:
INDUSTRIAL SOCIETY
What I advise you to do is, not to be unhappy before the crisis comes; since it may be that the dangers before which you paled as if they were threatening you, will never come upon you; they certainly have not yet come.
Accordingly, some things torment us more than they ought; some torment us before they ought; and some torment us when they ought not to torment us at all. We are in the habit of exaggerating, or imagining, or anticipating, sorrow.
INDUSTRIAL SOCIETY
Chimera
Grotesque monster. Unreal creature of the imagination. A vain or idle fancy:.A thing which is hoped for but is illusory or impossible to achieve.
Synonyms:
non-entity , dream, fantasy, vision, delusion, phantasm, mirage, idea unreality, pipe dream, fantasm, conceit, fiction, concoction, fabrication, nonentity, utopia, ignis fatuus, fancy, visualisation, fable, invention, daymare