SS 2023

22 August

Clean start after organizing as much as possible.

What’s next?

First that comes to mind is working away the leftovers. I know this sounds like a distraction from what I should be doing now that I’ve organized everything, BUT.... there are some ideas that I think are worth trying.

Coming back to making visual work, I am taking a lot of music with me. The music I’ve made over the last year, learning to play and compose. I don’t plan to stop, I just need to balance the two and venn diagram the shit out of it.

So leftovers are taking up a lot of space. Space I need to be empty for the way I see myself working. Which is: planned out, working in series, separation of experimentation and works. More language. More style, as in working in style. Defining my aesthetics. 

About 20 crates full of wooden pieces. A wall full of leftover peices of plywood and polyester slabs. 

It is not in my nature to throw things away, making me more like my dad than I thought. He recently said that I used to laugh at him for keepoing all thise pieces of wood, Pieces I still have in my studio today.

I see my studio being very serene and comfortable. A very light space, but controllable. I need to make those fold up curtains. Comfortable seating and generally a clutterless calm space with focus on only the current work. If I am working on several things there needs to be separation which is why it was a good idea to halve the rolling walls, making them into storage volumes and working surfaces. 

In this serenity I will write and piece together the space that I need to show, the embodiment of my fascination with being alive. The posiibilities. Organize, map it out. Deliberate and determined. Say what you want to do and then do it. Don’t forget to say it first. To yourself preferably.

I have plenty of ideas. They need to be threaded together into a unique space. My aesthetics. 

Moving forward has to include looking backwards. Piecing experiments and works together like clues for a mysterious question.

The leftovers contain clues, embody visions unexecuted. With new perspective I can deliberate. Deliberation.

The thing about the woodpieces. They invite me to experiment and play but they break my brain while doing it. Everything becomes about deciding between pattern, symmetry or randomness and intuitive micro moments. I have only a few pieces that I consider good. Good idea to collect them here.

----Do it (later)
Definitely the depth part in Mesa

They are like a lifeform untapped, unevolved but ready to go.

More importantly, There is now a need to create narrative. I hate the word but there needs to be a sort of timeline. Some suspense and mystery.
This is also where music comes in. Ideally I will formulate scenes and then compose them audio visually.

I am verging towards televisions and cameras but I see myself making actual scenes and paintings, maybe mattes for video. The act of painting can become a role personified. Part fiction. A persona. Paintings set somewhere, a bit like the art in beetlejuice. Branching now.

So back to the pieces.

3 ideas.

1. large grids, sprayed in close but resonating, contrasting colors fading. Blocks continue on sides avoiding a frame, which feels oldfashioned or detrimental to the piece even. It will be a frameless object from now on. Frames are for paintings. The large grids, like expanded chessboards or low res LED screens, units in space, of measurement, maps.

8x8 chessboard size
16 x 16
16 x 24
24 x 24
24 x 32

I hate to ask, but.. what am I exploring here? I am exploring, exploiting, my leftovers. Fuck off. But I like the map idea. The diagonal lines on old maps. The legend, and units on the sides. They dont have to be maps of anything specific, but allude to certain things. See the lauri Painting. 

I also like the spray factor. I havent done it before. Spraying cars is fascinating too. This facination with maps. but also with colors. The finish is important as it is a large surface, very flat. Maybe the japanese silver and white idea. Responds to time of day. A time reflector. 

Exciting to make a spray room out of the scaffolding in my studio. I will have to make it very controlled. Think about how to store the painted pieces and finish the works. Very direct. Spray and make. Spray and make. No storage. Funny I should say storage. Because the grid is a form of storgage, bits and such,. Units. Matrix. So maybe a storage, several shelves, like harddrives. motherboards. 

2. Computer chip depictions: Many colors, high complexity mixed with large surface simplicity. Lots of work and maybe the connection to the video work is too literal. It is a good idea as in building a compuer chip. Intuitively, but are the woodpieces the right way? It is contrived. Maybe painting or LED. I like the LED pattern carpet idea. Like a wall tapestry. So probably drop the computerchio woodpiece idea unless the iothers start sellinge very well. bla bla.
Really the chips should remain chips and anything I do that comes close should be an abstraction of those ideas.*

3. Musical scores.  Timeline of 16ths or 32nds, different layers or tracks superimposed. 2 and 3 dimensional structures of blocks and waveform abstractions. there could be series with woodpieces but also leftover wood cut to size. repetition is the key here, and transmutation on teh timeline.
This idea is the most promising.

4. Dashboards and tronics
5. Scoreboards
* Same for these and the sony paintings etc, The should be abstractions of those ideas. New objects. Don’t become a pony. Pony art. 


All the while, the LED and video work should continue. So we have a spray room and storage shelve. But we also have the LED screens hung on walls. Big Screens and easy accesibility with videomixers and cameras. The pixels in the paintings and in the video can relate, the painting process filmed, depicted. Archived. 

25 August

More cleaning up. Started with all the leftover wood today. The urge is strong to use it. Make fast but deliberate and consistent works. Inspired by rhythm composition, midi.

Combine calmness with detail as above. Volume and dessin etc. 

Keep the wood color where possible, paint mdf. Multiplex, paint sides

Glue together. screw from back. 

Never frame, always object. 

Crude, not pretending to be well finished. But well finished. Lots of sawing. Not so cool.

No sawing option. Just MDF. spray with primer. monoschrome works. Maybe shaded with falling paint droplets from different angles.

Why all this archi sit I ask myself. Is it because the leftovers, or do I just want to make and not think and represent. 

I have this idea of painting from photos and videos where certain parts are left out or abstrahized, collaged. It also feels like an effect. Not an idea. 

Still all over the place. 

So throw away all the woodpieces and leftovers? No I will so definietly regret. Just store them? Better idea maybe. 

The beat music score idea is still strong. The faded chessboard grids not so much. Vasarely street art baldiebla. But maybe that IS good. Sell for affordable price. Sell with the pieces. Mismatched teams. I like that. Not black and white. Multicolored. This brings me back to the portraits, people with different colors for skin.  Not sure why I liked that idea. 

If I think about it post cleanup. Storing things I dont need instantly. Clean space. How do I start? Continue this journaling till then will help. 

I have collected all these cameras and video tools. A large amount of acrylic Paint and all this wood. A large space. All organized. Realize the situation. All the ideas i have been writing down here. Do I go down the list one by one? Or do I throw everything into a giant video experiment? A set for theatre and music. Collaborations. Isnt that what the space calls out for? It is amlost like a stage already. Many things possible with the windows. Projection for instance. The scaffold might come in handy after all. 

Or the one by one approach. Pick one idea and make a series. Then pick another. Feels organized and not prone to making a mess. Combine that with working with leftovers is not a bad idea. Throwing everything away is weak. A bad idea in itself. Make a fucking table. The request of narrative and deepness coming form myself, it is forcing myself into something I am not. I don’t really work with symbolism. It has been about action. Taking part and inviting participation. 

Now I expect myself to distill all that into a world vision, analysis or reflection. How grandiose. This is what I should avoid, this uber generality. Fire ice, war, peace, news etc. It is very tempting to have ledscreens with crushing ice, huge soundtrack. Surround crush melt and trickle. 

Specific is either edit from general or it is personal. Personal can be archive. 

Painting as a goal or just showing off I can paint. (Gais)

Painting trees is something I told myself I would do. It would be a great start with the studio. The calmness and calamity of painting. It is also not very ME to just dive into that and not get all sorts of distracted. Could not become one of those instagram painters. I should do it outside maybe, Become one of those outdoor guys. 

Ideas about what I should become. I need ideas to embrace what I have always been through what I have become. I keep looking at myself from some outside position, just look from within, Look out. 

Fact is, I cannot come up with a new assignment until I finished the space. Then I will sit and write and drink tea. 

For this reason, a lot has to be removed. I cannot start again by regurgetating leftovers. Fact. Also. relax. It is going well. Eventhough I have been organizing for a month it is getting somewhere. It is thorough and that word is thorough. 

So just continue and either store or throw away things. Build what is necessary, order the crates. Throwaway all small wood except hard wood.Or have someone pick it up. Dont even think about making something along the way. 

What is the rule for throwing away shit? 


27 August (00:27)

Threw away a lot of leftover wood today.

It felt good. I still struggled with flash ideas of making things with every piece. I don’t expect to worry about it though. 

The studio seems more messy than ever now. Everything is in the middle of the room. I have only a bit more wood to sort out, then I will have done everything except the kitchen. Open studios in two weeks. I wont have anything to show. Just a clean space, hopefully.

Funny to see Kamagruka speaking about going to Paris on a schooltrip and taking off halfway to go to this magazine Harakiri. When he showed up again his teachers weren’t angry. They were impressed that he had gone there.

This made me think of the time I walked away from the group on a schooltrip to Paris with a friend and took the subway to Porte de Clingancourt to go to Marche aux Puces . They had brands like Carhartt at the time when you Couldnt get in in Holland. Must have been 92 or 93. Needless to say the teachers weren’t happy. But when I got arrested in Japan in 2003 for graffiti, a policeman looked thrpough my sketchbooks and asked me to draw him. 1 Touch. He then asked me to sign it. 

I don’t draw much anymore. Why is that? Also, I spent years drawing grafitti letters and I can’t even look at those drawings now. I have that with some New Yorker drawings too. Some are really bad. Sometimes I feel like I was almost great at many things. 

I loved what Kamargurka said about making heavy things light and the other way around. That this is how you can tell a good artist. A bad artist makes heavy things heavier. 
Also about working fast, making many things and throwing away a lot. With my recent experience of throwing away things, this could become part of my process. Why not. Make many chuck 80%.

Less worry when making too. Making woodpiece work always gave me stress, everything was possible but final. It had to always end in a work. This was a mistake. I have the space and quantoty to just do. Make a lot and dont worry about quality. Quantity. BUT, like my piano teacher said. Always keep tempo. Which translates to take care to play (make) well, and not carelessly. Give fucks.

For this to work I will need a few standard sizes to work with. No frames so think about sides. I could make this with leftovers. 

I have a pile of polyester leftovers. They clog up the studio because they are so heavy to move. I am not ready to throw them away. Selling is an option. Till then they should be contained to a rolling pile. It would be nice to insert a tube light so it works a very heavy ambient lamp. Make a nice pile. Or just bring them to storage. Pay for never using them again. 

I could propose an artpiece on the square. Imagine lit up piece of street. with water, walking on it would be an issue.  It would be cool in a garden. Pieces lit up everywhere. Rechargeable lamps. Easily interchanged. Just make an object per block. Light underneath. Not a bad idea to shape them into crystals. Been walking around with that idea for a while now.

Also, it works for practically every dimension of blocks as crystals are shaped in many ways. Quite a corny idea. But it does resonate in the crystal way. Stupid. 

Make every block into a lamp. Same insert on every one. just a heavy lamp. Matte or glossy. Fade from matte on the bottom to glossy on top.

I should update the info about Denver. It says nothing about who I worked with.

Tomorrow. hang with Charlie.

3 September (23:52)

Lots of progress, eventhough it still feels slow. Learning as I build. Keep wanting to improve and go back over past weaknesses. 

12 Sept (21:58)

Non stop making the new setup and endless organizing, spray painting, cleaning and throwing away. I am apalled at how much stuff I have accumulated. Somehow it seemed to get more while organizing. Very discouraging and sometimes I felt hopeless about ever getting to that serene place I have in mind. 
Luckily I was able to arrange for a storage space. Tomorrow, Barend and I will bring a van full of stfuff to storage. So finally serenity is in sight. Next weekend is the big open studio day. I will need to show and sell work though.

I have recently been sketching more. The main focus is to do something with the wood pieces after all, including leftover wood. 

Focussing on electronics and rhythm or beat compositions. Again, the aim is to combine complexity with simple volumes in an elegant way. 

14 Sept (21:58)

Happy New Year
Another year of school
Every day is a lesson
Lessons every day
and homework


Summer over
another year of school
class non stop
practical practice 

Summers over
New school year

Brain time